The Wounds has Healed but the Scars Still Remains

It seems like no matter how hard I try to forget it or push it away, my past keep coming back to get me. The wounds from all my brokenness has healed, but the scars still remains.

I spend most of today helping out the sisters and fellow fellow brothers set up for our Tet celebration tomorrow. I truly had a blast today helping out the sisters in the gym cutting/making decorations for the stage, hanging up paper lanterns in the hallway and helping out in the kitchen with the food preparations. Once my day was finally over and I went back to my room to relax, suddenly out of no where, I felt a sense of sadness and loneliness. I had a great fun productive day today, I have no reason to be sad.

I have notice that when I'm with a big crowd of people for a long period of time, I get sad during or right after the event. I notice this happening to me a lot. It seem like I'm still struggling from the lack of love I received growing up that now I'm constantly wanting it. This explains why I get so attach to people/friends.

I went in the small chapel and mediated on this, and I had to say I felt a lot better afterwords. I learned from Martin and Cha Tri, that when your happy for a long period of time, that when the bad and evil spirits comes to attack you because that when you have your guards down. I refuse to go down this road right now. I just need to stay positive and more importantly offer everything up to God.