Carry My Cross

I feel like history is repeating itself and around the same time as last year too. I'm going to try to take what I learn from this last year and apply it to this one. I feel like I'm being tested or something.

My heart feels a little heavy right now, it hurts inside but with the grace and love of God, I will be ok. I really wish that people can see whats inside my heart, how am feeling and they pain they inflicted one me. I guess no matter how much I try to explain myself, people will never really truly understand what I gone through in the past and how it affects me today. I often feel like people take it really lightly when I tell them I'm hurting inside. Or maybe I'm just being too over dramatic?

The way I love and care for my friends really makes it easy for me to get hurt. So in the end, I guess I have no one to blame but myself for putting myself in that situation. I often have to tell myself this whenever I get hurt by a friend so I don't get too angry at them.

So yesterday we had recollection at our school and the theme was carrying your cross. The more I think and reflect about it, the more clear it is to me what my cross is. I'm pretty sure that I will be carrying this cross for the rest of my life and instead of dwelling on it, I'm going to try to embrace it.